Stranger than Fiction
Grosvenor Chapel – God and Chips?
Your eagle eyes will not have failed to notice that the cover of this edition publicises our Christmas Carol Concert on the 17th December at the Grosvenor Chapel. However, this beautiful Georgian church has been caught up in one of the area’s more bizarre property speculations. Apparently, some anonymous developer offered Rev. Simon Hobbs £70 million for the Grosvenor Chapel with a view to turning it into – wait for it – a steak house! Naturally, he assumed the potential purchaser was confusing his very active parish church in South Audley Street, with the de-consecrated St Marks in North Audley Street. Not a bit of it. In fact, rumour has it, they were prepared to offer him £1,000,000 to ensure that the deal went through smoothly. However, being on the side of God and not Mammon, Simon pointed out that such a transaction was undesirable for any number of reasons and unlikely to succeed – not least because it would require an act of parliament to have the chapel de-consecrated. So, it looks as though we’ve been saved from the prospect of having to endure the ‘Grosvenor Gutbuster Grill’ – thank - um - oh yes - God.
Relocation, Relocation, Relocation
We have all heard of illegally parked cars being towed away, but “quelle surprise” to be happily sitting in your office, when a friend e-mails you to say that your car – legally parked on a res bay – is up in the air and being dumped on a lorry.
Your first thought is that you have parked illegally, the second that the car is being stolen and the third to get onto the traffic department to find out where it has been taken and why. A call to the Westminster Car Pound reveals nothing but a suggestion that perhaps there are other solutions – ‘how’s about trying Trace?’ they ask. Possibly, if you knew who on earth, Trace, are and what they do. But, this is no time to argue, you just take the number and give them a call.
Twenty minutes of listening to Vivaldi and being assured that your call is valued, you get through to Trace to discover that the car has been moved from its wonderful spot in Hanover Square – legitimately parked of course – to outside 48 Conduit Street. A trip to Conduit Street reveals that the car is still in tact and nicely parked on a residents’ car parking bay. A note on the car says that the car has been removed from 7 Hanover Square. Just a suggestion, don’t you think the note might have been more useful if it had been left in bay the car had been removed from?
It transpires that Trace can get instructions at any time to lift cars from one location and take them elsewhere if, for example, they need the area for unplanned roadworks. No warnings are given. I think that’s what Arthur Daley referred to as ‘a nice little earner’.
It’s about time Westminster addressed this infringement of our rights and while they’re about it, they might also consider running a publicity campaign to let people know that they carry out this sort of operation because on this occasion, it came as a complete surprise. And in case you’re wondering how we know about this particular little scam, it’s a true story that happened on 18th September 2007, to guess who? Yes, our esteemed Chairman, Anthony Lorenz.